HaPpY???iJuSdUnNoE

2009-01-16T10:22:00.000-08:00

new year new TARGET...hmm my target is a new bag ,shoe and also perhaps...and oversea trip during june or july hope my wish can come true...sace money as i go haha....shall start saving to pamper myself.....now endure and work....

2009-01-10T08:31:00.000-08:00

day by day past...haiz... same feeling down haiz... miss the days so much on my way home every day i see couples around haiz... how i wish i could be like them haiz... it made mi envy them haiz... out of words to say... nvm no thought of highlighting my hair but dun wanna spoil my hair although its already spoil when i rebond hmm cutting hair soon two more days shld be not dyeing why no money haiz... i miss u so much but yet we have so little time to meet haiz... u still sick haiz... haiz i wish i need not work...have been enduring haiz... they joke mi all kinds of funny jokes abt mi haiz... then wif no reason kanna scold and his bad attitude thinkgin every one owe him money jus realli cant standhaiz how i wish i could jus hand over the letter and quit haiz jus another 5 month i endure nvm i'll jus keep quiet as usual putting on a smile actting happy haiz... i wish i wish i wish ........................

2009-01-09T09:37:00.000-08:00

today finally seen him haiz...he's sick very sick haiz.. ask him go see doc he says wait til his mother come home bring him go haiz...nite time mother came back say tml see how then bring him he has been having fever up and down then stomach aches haiz... worry for him but wat can i do haiz..... pretty up sad i couldnt stop acting normal haiz... being to keep quiet haiz....i wish i gt more time to spend wif him now onli once week once haiz... i realli miss him so much but we jus has little time haiz....feeling unhappy haiz... all i wan is ur pei pan haiz... gt money but not happy haiz... wats de use of keep working i wish i coukd stop working those days at kl was so fun could have him all day long beside mi sob haiz.... we seems to be far away from each other haiz.... some thing pushing mi to give up haiz... i dun wish to end this relationship haiz....putting a smile every day is tiring

2009-01-08T08:46:00.000-08:00

haiz... still feeling down...haiz... as usual acted normal....our time doesnt meet haiz...jiu cannot wei wo spare more time haiz....morning u gt sch afternoon i need to work onli nite then u either tired or late le or ur mother haiz...if not my off day one and onli off day u will eother gt stuff haiz.... perhaps its mi haiz... i dun noe how to give u my understanding haiz... i knew things will happen haiz...in the begining i knew haiz... as usual i will be sad haiz... i jus wish we could have more time together haiz... but haiz... when i'm alone and i see couple or see friends i felt so sad haizz i saw xue lian jus now wif her bf haiz... happily haiz... i envy so much haiz... decided to give up haiz...these few day i feel emptyness haiz...is it so hard for u to pei he wo haiz... i grumble more u will again say u wan my little understanding haiz....ok i will keep quiet ok... any thing also wont say wnhait grunble or complain to le ok

2009-01-07T07:28:00.000-08:00

hmm shall spring clean my blog.... cos it has spider web on it....well...had a bad christmas cos one day before eve i had a great stomach ache and the pain lasted for 5 days before i recover with eating all kinds of medic...christmas eve i couldnt go any where but at home...my dear enjoying at friends hse tat make mi felt sad....cos wat i can eat is onli light stuff and its christmas...nvm on the day of christmas went to kelly hse bbq and classmate gathering then on new year eve gathering too watch fire works and headed home one the second day of new year my trip to KL... i had lots of fun how i wish oi could enjoy again... bought lot s of stuff... hmm now back to wt i actually wanna blog today...there seems alot of stuff i wanna say but i jus dunnoe how to say... wat to say... haiz... i acted happy...i pretended normal as i'm happy but bottom of my heart i'm not dunnoe wat to say haiz...u said u wan little understanding and time...ok got it haiz...feeling weird i need a company.... haiz...feel bored feel empty i wish i could go back to the past where i can always go out now i trap in work and work no where but work haiz... when i'm free u are not free when my friends are free meeting i'm busy working hiz.... i wanna a long break when.... can i haiz... my off day i rox at home thinking wat can i do bored at home no one pei mi u are busy in sch teacher ask u go u jiu agree and go haiz... cannot break promise haiz...some times i wat other say u wil always do and help them and wat i ask for will always be a no most of the time haiz...u force mi asking u which is more important then now u said u wan little understanding and time haiz....ask urself 1 mth how many camps how many camp fire how many scouts stuff haiz....perhars its all mi haiz...shall keep quiet bah.....shh.....haiz... i'm tired and exhausted i wish to have more fun

2008-11-18T06:11:00.000-08:00

hmm i've make a pass to let onli some close friends to see my blog hmm actually i jus didnt wan my classmates to see onli....hmm dunnoe why i jus feel so unhappy haiz...sorry dear how ever hard u try makign mi in the end when i'm suppose to go home i'm not happy again...haiz...i also dunnnoe why i thought am i walking to towards the path of depression...dear said no lar dun any how think...ya perhaps too stress....must relaz... but how too...nvm i learn and try...hmm today i skip sch...didnt wanna go sch and face my classmates so went out wif dear see him work then we when out to have a big feast...haha but in the end same...i'm still not happy...haiz.. sorry my tired dear....still in moody mood....

2008-11-17T06:37:00.000-08:00

i'll jus keep quiet.....haiz...shall be in silent....everyone showing attitude if not... not happy every thing my fault...i wish i could run far far far away....be all alone.....haiz.. i dun wish to go sch and work but still have to go....i wanna cry all out but i cant....haiz...who to cry to who to shout to...haiz....darlin been busy not gonna trouble him...haiz...i'll jus keep quiet

2008-11-16T08:48:00.000-08:00

lots of things to say in my heart...seems to be lots of things i couldnt say but jus leaving it in my heart....nvm ....dun wanna write here i'm gonna change my blog soon haiz....these two weeks lot of things happen....last last wed father admited to hospital....tyhe last thu he went for operation BYPASS....last few dayshe in icu recovering...its so heart pain see him like this i nearly cry but hold back....tml gonna go see him hmm he has change ward already...haiz....

darlin...i will not cry in front of u...u run away...i jus remain silent.....muack

2008-11-10T07:04:00.000-08:00

its been a tired week end...i'm tired felt like skipping sch tml but...haiz...too lazy i'm jus realli tired out...but i must stay evens trong...if i'm tired my mother is even more tired then mi so ...but i'm realli tired and lazy to blog le.... jus wish for thur a successful one prayed to god...he will be fine.....

darlin...thx for being by myside thx i need u by myside i'm tired realli tired jus wish to slp on ur leg...every tired moment.....

2008-10-26T21:08:00.000-07:00

hmm today is a ph no sch yeah...finally get to rest felt so tired gonna have fun today hmm wake up in morning cant slp so came using com...lots of thing to blog but lazy to write so hmm nvm....jus now nose bleed guess too heaty liao....hmm nvm....long time ever since i nose bleed haha ok shall stop here.....bye....wish mi luck

2008-10-10T10:17:00.000-07:00

regarding what i post in this blog...blog de happiness the sadness every thing i wish i can blog on here...i here by say this is a blog for mi to destress off my unhappyness careless if it links to u anot.... so no comments thx .... so at if i say any thing here....if u had not done any thing wrong dun feel guilty so pls dun tell mi wat wah write we bully u in ur blog arh....thx...LAST REMINDER this BLOG BELONGS TO MI....i have all de rights to post any things i like THANK YOU....

2008-10-04T10:30:00.000-07:00

today isnt a gd day....didnt slp well last nite my head is tired super tired not onli day after wash up my neck to shoulder couldnt turn when i try to turn it hurts alot so is like wearing de seacollar.... ppl who noe first aid will noe wats tat...today i suffer pain...really dam pain....hmm thx melvin for de massage and ths darlin for the massage plus de plaster...hmm shall go rest liao hope fully can slp realli well...

2008-10-03T10:59:00.000-07:00

out of the blue i felt like blogging .... these few days....hmm felt pretty not happy... i wish i had a long long break as long as 2 mths....work is tired plus...haiz...who will understand...haiz...u not mi wat i go through u dun understand u said i having attitude jus becos u ask mi throw away de rubbish ...but truly it isnt like this my hand is dirty cannot let mi wash finish then i will clear jus now i clear de empty containers then i wash then do order so haven clear ....u said i attitude look back u shld look at urself are u giving attitude also or perhaps urs is not attitude...u jus go shouting asking mi do this do tat u and boss and him go bullying mi cos i'm de only girl there u all said no nice things abt my figure abt all de dirty things hey ppl i am enduring realli i dun wan to burst out haiz shall not say felt so sad....i cried today and cried alot...not onli todaY DE LAST LAST LAST LAST WEEK TOO..... haiz....i sat at the park cry and kept quiet....there comes a monkey doing gymnastics on the slide tryoing to make mi smile thx monkey i;m sorry trouble u make u worry and make u sad too becos i no call u no sms u...so bad rite i'm such a bad person ....haiz...ppl use to say i have no temper nice person now ppl in my work place say i attitude and perhaps u all shld be thinking i show temper....its u guys force mi and changing mi to such person....haiz....i realli hate u guys some times....will u all stop will every thing stop no sch also like this work also like this how i wish i could go to some where quiet i felt so tired.....haiz...dun wanna go sch and dun wanna go work becos of these ppl haiz....my friends who understands...my families who understands haiz.....not any one of them understands haiz.....

2008-09-01T08:44:00.000-07:00

haiz...actually done writing my unhappiness but the internet gt disconnect when i click publish post haiz... so restart writing haiz this is the third time i have written becos of the internet i'm tired of re typing le shall cut short haiz...isnt very happy things seems to be not right first boss say i must improve peter say boss say i must bark up on my cooking and stuff melvin say i'm slow in plating must be faster haiz... itrying to improve benny say i'm stupid even darlin also say....ppl critise my cooking critise mi say i cook not nice even darlin say so it makes mi feel depress too...but i didnt say out aunty also says mi but wat makes mi feel even not happy is ppl shout at mi say mi blame things to mi its not i make spoil one i gt a sense wed boss will say mi i noe i loss the ice cream scoop i will buy and pay back haiz....feel so not happy in indulge but wat to do must endure haiz...wat to say actually wanted to tell darlin all this things ytd nite when he sent mi home but i saw he is down wif flu and is tired jus came back form scout camp so didnt trouble him but at ntie i sms him abt it but he slept already so i waited til de next day for his reply he didnt replay abt the matter so i ask him did he see my sms i send him last ntie he said he saw and he then said i think too much it seems it didnt realli bothers him haiz...tell him but seems no reaction from him perhaps it does matter to him haiz...i feel so upsad haiz...have been having chest pain these few days now still having but slight pain haiz..also told him in the last ntie sms but perhaps he overlook haiz...no one care no one understand bah haiz... nvm i'll jus keep to myself bah haiz...12 more days will be my appt hopes its gd result haiz...shall stop here tired le wanna go slp le haiz...hopefully wif a sweet dreams tonite

lonely soul....injured heart

2008-08-09T09:57:00.002-07:00

wat to say...haiz... my heart feel so pain.....haiz....felt so lonely...haiz...disappointed.....jus 30 mins but u dun really wanna spend wif mi so i ask u to go home and i hide and cried again....haiz...work early u complain...work late u give mi less time to spend wif....finish work late u cant pei mi more....finish work early u also lazy if not jiu tired haiz...dun realli wanna spend time wif mi is it...haiz... jus a request of ur 30min time haiz.... u said to mi dun like tat pls.....haiz....felt more sad....wat do u mean by this haiz...so its mi AGAIN... haiz i nothing to say....haiz...i felt like giving up but....haiz.... is it so hard for u to spend more time wif mi....haiz...if u dun wanna cherish the time haiz... forget it....

2008-07-31T09:03:00.000-07:00

hmm today in a mood to blog but lots of unhappy stuff...feel so stress not onli 1 thng but many things make mi stress....firstly abt this guy....he did not go sch these few days...and his teacher called his parent up and said he did not go sch and his mother is super angry and ng and scold him then his mother knew i was wif him came talking to mi over the phone...asking mi do i noe he has not been going sch these three days...i said NO but actually iknew abt it jus has to act then his mother go nagging over to misaying his has been not a gd boy has change bad lately so i jus go erm...erm...and his mother said tat some thing tat make mi feel upset and trouble abt....she said he has been meeting mi and she said we do not need to meet every day cos his been meeting mi and sending mi home but actually he does realli bah hmm dunnoe nvm then his mother also added something saying as a friend of him i shld help him and encourage him to go sch on ewvery day and most of the time be puncture....so i jus keep going erm...erm...ya ...so and so.... a reply to his mother...hmm i has been asking him to go sch and jus he always slping and overslp wat can i do....i do encourage him and most of the time we meet can mostly be at nite cos i'm woking tat de onli time i could meet him and hs busy and i'm busy we jus trying to make time for ourself..so why bother us meeting almost everyday...and his already 19 and adult teenage already next year will reach 20 why still bother abt him he will take care of himself but if u bother abt him why dun u give him more money as his allowances his always no money to eat when u quarrel....so why bother so much ... and abt sch his already a adult if will take care of his study if he dun study well and its his own resposnsiblity u dun realli need to talk abt it so much let him be...why not jus let go abit...holding one so tight doesnt do any gd he will still go bad and go against u...haiz... nvm some times i find parent are very troublesome and so naggy....some times i feel irritated....abt my own mother my study she didnt care cos its my own duty to study well if i fail to do so it will be my own fault haiz...almost every day work is tiriong but no one understand colleague say why i feel tired when i off so many days haiz... u all jus not mi unoe wat my health and urs is different...haiz..say so much do nothing sian arh...how i wish i could jus play haiz....freaking stress wif stuff gt inventory to do project to do...work and work and study jus make mi feel so no life...bored of working already...hmm i have thought of work until i finish my course rest for 2 to 3 mths then start working again....i wanna play i dun wanna waste my teenage time....
haiz.. darlin some times i jus miss u so much but i now i have to think abt ur mother and o have to sacrify my time haz... must ren...guess we 1 week meet abt 2-4 days bah...haizz...nvm...i understnd i will try to do tat haiz...writing the above is not trying to blame u or ur mother its jus my reflection....dun bother abt it k muack..luv u darlin...i wanna go park and relax again....

2008-07-28T07:41:00.000-07:00

finally met up wif my lovely bf....hmm realli miss him alot....when to eat lunch then went taking a walk...sat there enjoy de wind and it felt so relaxing....if time could slow down how nice it will be...eveery day working and sch missing out something in my life...there seems no fun at all... hmm i miss having fun i wanna bring fun back and i wanna laugh and play my way through my life....i miss sec sch life haha....now all friends are busy...even mi i guess i'm de most busy person haha...darlin...mr lazypig i wanna say sorry to u i noe i have done some thing not rite and u are upsad one cos i noe u care for mi but u jus didnt say out and show out most of the time....i promise u i wont ever do it again muack sorry my dearest pig the most lazy pig in the world haha

2008-07-27T06:19:00.000-07:00

haiz..it has been three days...haiz...days wif out him is lonely....suddenly i feel so sad...haiz has been sad for 3 days....there seems to be no true friends no friends...its not they drawing away from mi its seems to be i drawing away from them...haiz....go work ...finish work go home alone... haiz darlin not aound today sunday off...rest and thought afternoon can meet him after his camp haiz...but he choose to stay at scout camp then to meet mi haiz...i realli hate it haiz...feeling so sad...tears keep coming out even he ask mi not to cry....haiz...i hate him choosing scout always haiz....they neeed u tats wat u said but i guess truely is u wanted to stay wif ur scout friends there rite...haiz....they need u i also need u u noe....haiz...but u choose stay at camp....haiz....hate u i hate ur scout life.....sob sob......haiz....

2008-07-24T02:41:00.000-07:00

busy wif work... now at work place no customer so decided to blog while my boss not around hmm jus to say hi and bye...bored at work...tat all haha....i miss my darlin...he's busy wif sch and scout hmm i miss my friends too busy wif indivual work and study....ok tats all signing off byebye

2008-07-04T10:28:00.000-07:00

i have decided to posy this issue on my blog.... haiz...felt i'm so stupid to believe a strangers words....on wed late nite when i was going to take mrt home this guy approah mi and he said he's from china...came here to help the company do things but the person in charge as gone over sea...will be back ytd he wans to borro some money to eat at first i rejected him cos i realli gt no cash....then he said pls and told him he gt card but could nt get money and he said he also felt bad as he is a big guy and here he is begging for money i too silly to actually lend him some money and he said he will call mi the next day to return so i kept believing he will return but the next day he did not call and today i called him he didnt ans ad he off his phone i felt so sad and half angry angry f myself being stupid to lend this china guy money stupid enough to actually believe his words...haiz... dam dam dam stupid..too kind tat i gt bluff bloody hell guy hey u this stupid china guy bluff my money u this bloody hell will get bao yin de wish god punish u will bankcrupt wish god punish u tat u will have no money to eat and u suffer like hell borrow money also no one will give a dam to help u u bloody china guy u idolt u asshole u bloody sucker u son of the bitch irritating guy XXXX you freaking ass hole.......

2008-06-27T22:10:00.000-07:00

u said we have lesser time and yet now when haiz...when i work late i can spend s0ome time before working wif u but yet u have to go scout then badminton haiz...not i dun wan play badminton its jus after playing sweat then go work will be smelly and uncomfortable....haiz...then when i have ot work early when i have no choice u so call complain tat why i work so early haiz...wat am i suppose to do....feel so moody...haiz....guess i be going there peeping at u awhile then go work bah

2008-06-27T09:57:00.000-07:00

mood still de same haiz...i'm sorry i'm trying to smile and change at the same time...haiz...my heart wish for u to send mi home and my mouth wants to ask u but i dare not ask and i noe its impossible for u cos its late i noe u are tired and i do not wish to make u sad so i kept all this in my heart...sad but still in silnt sad but still shows a trying to smile face to u i'm sorryhaiz....every moment i'm holding but my tears and my sadness

2008-06-26T09:42:00.000-07:00

I'm trying to change....i'm sorry u ask mi "dun wan mi fetch u arh..." i wan to say yes and actually for the whole day i'm there thinking again i wan to ask u to fetch mi and send mi home but i'm too afraid....to i would do the same thing again.....haiz....i tried smilling

2008-06-25T08:04:00.000-07:00

After ytd mood is still moody....but still smiles on my face....st john day...hmm althought it is a short performance but its still a great performace by my junior congrat...everyone...hope u all will be able to snatch the champion back to holy high....hmm went home after tat short moment..then rested awhile recieve a phone call from dulce..asking mi to urgently needed a worker back at indulge...so kind hearted i went back work to 4 plus met up wif darlin....dunnoe wat to ay but jus sorry...and i was shock to noe he readed my blog last nite...so for once i decided to blog for him today...

shh...nothing to say....

2008-06-24T19:38:00.001-07:00

silent silent tat all....shh.....nothing to say i'm sorry onli

2008-06-24T09:35:00.000-07:00

i have lots of thing to say....but i jus dunnnoe how to say my feelings....haiz...so it goes like this xxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx and it ends here ...dear i gt lots of things to Say but i decided to keep quiet...if u see my blog and u ask mi i may say...but now i shal keep quiet....haiz....nitez...oh ya tml st john day enjoy guys......

2008-06-06T10:42:00.000-07:00

hmm...its been weeks bored....hmm event coming up...next mon go airport send mother and grand ma....next fri to mon camp...hmm tat all bah...hmm this coming thu 12th june is pig's birthday....bought him a present le...he likes it tooo...haiz... some times i'm thinking if i have over pamper him or treat him too well... perhaps yes perhaps no...i dunnoe the ans... i miss him shaiz... some times i hate ppl asking a question example like can ot.... can i dun meet u and then go home...can i ....or ending the question wif a CAN behind....haiz...my ans for them....can i say NO do i have a choice some times i dun have a choice.....confusing tired how i wish i gt mroe time i gt more hrs some times i jus wish if i can jus dun work and jus stay beside him....i miss him i miss the times we had i miss fun...i miss spending time wif him...haiz...busy busy busy...we are always busy...haiz...
pig give mi more time spend more time wif mi i miss u sry pig i noe its mi always busy but pig i'm trying to spend more time wif u but u are always giving excuse haiz.... pig dun lazy ok.....miss u

2008-05-22T09:30:00.000-07:00

hmm its been some times i haven be blogging jus lazy to blog dunnoe wat to say...hmm work is gd....nice timing enough rest hmm gt ot next month pay shld be ok but sch...starting to feel sian running out of track liao....hmm will try my best to pull myself back haiz...these few days dun feel so gd dunnoe why hmm kind of worry for my father hmm shld be alright hmm 2 more weeks mother and grand ma going china hmm hopefully i be able to send them and 3 more weeks i'm going camp hmm time fly fast haha enjoying myself at my new work place i enduring i will do my best pls give mi time must catch up fast its realli tough btu i will try my very best and i mst ...stress... hm sian tat all for now .... darlin i kind of miss u so much do u noe...miss u sending mi home which u use to do...now i realise how irritating i am to u...i feel so upset ...seeing u work so sian so upset i dunnoe wat to say...but darlin i miss ur tight hug...hmm i jus miss going out wif u

2008-04-25T10:07:00.000-07:00

hmm i wanna explox thigns out ....seriously i'm onli a little girl nto say little but jus a small young girl...but boss ... wan mi to cook like a man...ok trying...wan mi to cope things fast trying push mi to the extend of 1 person doing the orders when there two more colleague working today...teach mi i try i try seriously i'm trying to cope things fast realli u must give mi time ma pls time... hmm no scolding but jus hush words or i cant rem but i realli trying my best...say i nv use strength so i use strength but in the end i spash the water at them hehe...push push push he push mi but its realli tough sia i'm strong outside but inside i'm not tat strong and i'm weak in health haiz... waiting for 25th july to come...hope there gd news no bad news....ok back to today... he push mi...its a gd thing...haiz... i realli trying my best i'm a girl hello...reallli haiz...i'm trying to cop and at the same time i was trying to hold back my tears...i noe this is jus a beginning onli hai...i try i try pls pls pls give mi time i will cook like a man i'll be wonderwomen...but all i need is time to learn all and time haiz...now all i have is to endure endure....arh......this is realli a hard time lor....pls haiz....ok time to destress....more tough path coming soon....all i need is endurance...

2008-04-20T08:56:00.000-07:00

hmm decided to blog haha yeah net work can use liao hmm today nto a gd day i gt lots of injury lor...first i cut my finger then i gt my finger nail injured and its abit numb then i burn my hand then i gt my leg a blue black....lotys of injury today but thx god they are all minor one....hmm firstly result from pushing my appointment forward is a fail i cant due to some reason given by NHC...haiz... nvm i shall see how...bored....going to slp soon sian....ok off to bed

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY

SOH JINGJIE

aka JJ

2008-04-14T06:33:00.000-07:00

hmm sch was still ok learn how to make short pastry or can also call it short crust or sweet paste haha hmm pastry can be fun but also realli difficult hmm then goes english lesson...still ok...hmm peter ask mi why am i always smsing hmm why cant i sms hmm then he says to others tat i at work also sms then say even when boss face not gd i also still sms haiz...why hmm i keep thinking abt this problem...haiz...i seriously afraid but i not realli afraid of hard work at the new place it is can my health take it the stress work there how ever i explain no one understand onli my bf....i'll be facing it alone....i noe i gt him but i dun wish him to worry and wat he said was rite if any thing happen to mi my parent will blame him so i dun wish him to have any trouble but wat can i do....these few days realli feel unwell but no one noes say also no use no one listen no one understand...haiz...hmm decided to ask to push the appointment earlier...hopefully is may or june haiz....can any one tell mi wat shld i do....haiz...

2008-04-13T08:04:00.001-07:00

my family
mi & grand ma
daddy, bro & mi
mi
favourite toy won by darlin

who is this baby

me again
me once again
mi again...haha
mi at kukup trip

mi & darlin
my birthday cake
darlin & mi
once again
mi

senior & officer
nco, senior & offcier
best classmates best friends
shatec classmates

footdrill com training in sch
footdrill com 2006 team
sjab family
Zhao neng, Me & Theng boon
nursings....

haha these are all my memory...i miss all

2008-04-13T06:57:00.000-07:00

hmm kanna miss something out of my life....miss having fun wif darlin....miss going out wif darlin most of the time to enjoy like watching movie shop and play games....i miss those days seriously... so sad....hmm i miss sjab too hmm guess i'm so far away from sjab le...but i gonna go back this sat...hmm i'm so happy tat i gt time to go back this coming sat....but i guess will not be a gd day.... hmm i realli miss having fun...miss my darlin but even wif every day meeting him i felt missing something but i jus dunnoe wat....hmm but I MISS U DARLIN... hmmm work work work i jus wish i gt more time haiz...life is being under control by ppl freedom will there be freedom..hmm guess must wait for another 2-3 years but hmm nvm....hmm why my appointment is so far away...july haiz...i'm so afraid...serious i'm afraid tat i collapse.... hmm lots of reasons...feel like getting weaker but through ppls eye they think i'm strong hmm no they think i must be strong but its seriously hard...i wanna jus be a baby under some one care and love... hmm i will stay strong and take care of myself....

count down hmm 26 more days to leaving marche...its so far...

2008-04-08T07:02:00.000-07:00

hmm...seriously is no mood in sch...cos i misses some one...much hmm nvm...go sch...lesson early in the mornign was tired but lesson was abt public speaking lor next week must find oen topic wat should i say...dunnoe can i make it...haiz...teacer was gd this course tutor is gd haha hmm then there was at least 3 hrs of break to next lesson jus like spilt shift but its split lesson....tired by it then went rushing down to dhoby ghaut to meet him...freaking miss him but dunnoe he miss mi ma haha meet him eat hotdog and buy drink and then went back to 7 /11 but cup noodles eat haha and at at the indulge haha boss ask mi wan work tonite i treat u eat better food i laugh ahah cos i knew he will ask tat haha...then went home cos he gt to work but didnt vear leaving him haha nvm will vear wif it...hmm didnt realli feel happy lots to things today shall not mention so much hmm or this post will be extremly long hmm why is my mother so not happy wif mi always haiz... nvm

To my dearest darlin....i here by make this promise to u...I PROMISE TO WAIT FOR U DURING UR ARMY DAYS I PROMISE AND I TRUST AND I BELIEVE I CAN DO IT

To shafeeqah....my dearest gf....haha cheer up there always up and downs in life k dun bother abt him...those freaking ppl haha u noe who i mean...they are evil and cruel why i also dunnoe haha jus be urself k life gonna be gd cos mon tue i meeting u in sch yeah...must always look forward k.... hey u are not lonely k u gt mi....gt boo...gt lots of caring friends exculding those ppl u noe who i mean hmm cheer up....smile k then u look great

2008-04-07T06:42:00.000-07:00

haiz...no mood these few days...not becos of work not becos of sch but becos of wat...i dunnoe too feeling no life...basiclly everyday is jus like ake up work or sch onli 1 day outing haiz...nvm...feel so moodless how i wish how i wish he dun need to work tml...haiz....

missing u realli do u noe tat why....i wanna meet u today but u doesnt seems like u miss mi doesnt seems to have the urge to meet mi....tml another day i cant meet u again...haiz...hate this its realli cruel... :(

2008-03-27T07:14:00.000-07:00

Wat a day....bored..shall blog abt wat a day i have...woke up at 10 rush project print and when i look at the time its gonna 11.30 and i have not get ready for sch so faster get ready eat lunch and left wif bro...reach sch and late for abt 5 min...my bro say the class room is at level 4 so we ran up but it wasnt so we search around no nt at level 4 went to lvl 2 and it wasnt too so tired went to lvl 3 and finally went in breathlesss head went blank but shld say i didnt study so it was blank seriously i didnt noe how to ans the short ans qns so any how write and went out ... my day haven end...went for DI....they said at 2.30pm sharp and i was on time but the lady name Ms Jaymie Cheah was not found any where in the CFBM department....kris when searching for her she ask mi to wait so i waited...waited...and i waited for 15 min she still not here....and waited another 10 min she back and now i knew who she is a fat lady...so bossy...such a bitch i heard her saying she forgotten abt this and she grab her drink and came in sitting down and came another guy....dunnoe who...she was late yet she nv say sorry wat a bitch hate her see her face it suck man.....cannot stand realli such a bitch waste my time....finally the DI was overit was wat a crap....i onli rem 1 i'm suppose to sign contract wif the indulge first then i can quit from marche....haha and tat end my day in sch....so waited for my bf....meet at woodlands went to get burger king and heres another day so FxxK up....giving us attitude like we own her money... serve us so poor and when she serve the fries to where we sit she slip the who fries down from the tray she holding ... such a lazy bum she pull the paper slide every thing on our tray we are gd enough not to complain her... wat a day... half way walking some thing spoil my mood...peter ask mi work cos he mc....and its a must...haiz...feel sad ut i jus dunnoe how to reject....sry dear...hmm so agree and going tml haiz... nvm tats how i respect a elderly bah... haizz... dun noe how to sayits like i must do it i cannot dissapoint him and the boss...haiz....nvm its a learning stage for mi bah...must memorize every thing....off to bed le its a long day tml....

2008-03-19T09:33:00.000-07:00

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2008-03-18T22:54:00.000-07:00

bored shall blog again....hungry hungry...waiting for lunch to appear in front of mi....bored...nothing to do going sch later to settle some stuff hope fully every thing will be smooth...

2008-03-18T18:47:00.000-07:00

Nothing to do so decided to post abt my decision...hmm i'm leaving marche hope thomas woulld let mi go i wanna experience kitchen life and learn more in marche there is things for mi to learn but its jus nto the same as behind kitchen life ok hmm bored hope i would be able to overcome the pressure and stress and tiredness i believe i can hmm sian this week all the way morning shift bored....

Shafeeqah.....you will find a work place k dun worry try ur best all the way......

2008-03-13T03:04:00.000-07:00

i'm back... home so tired but still ok haha hmm so decided to come blog abt my chalet haha

First Day
check in at abt 2 then pack most of the food into de fridge and then jump on bed rest haha quite nice to lie haha so rest until 5 plus 6 my bro brought all the hot food hmm sit down play mahjong while waiting for friends to come around 8 plus most of my sec sch friend came then follow by my class mates in shatec came then we bbq and have fun haha kenneth keep trying new stuff coke chicken ,green tea chicken haha lot of lot of new one haha some was nice some wasnt happy they came then my sec sch friend stay over nite we had mahjong nite haha its was fun but i guess i onli play afew rounds haha the rest of the nite i was like lazing liao tired but still stay awake and see my friends play haha

Second Day
raining day hmm we went to escape and play but when we were abt to start our first ride at the go kart station we were in the kart and have put on safety belts but it started to rain so gt to stop then it rain all the way then we couldnt play so ask for refund but it onli can refund for the bought ticket the free ticket we will have to wait until 5 plus 6 see if it still rainning so we decided to go back to chalet haha so we run back under the rain haha its so fun haha then again chalet left mi my bf and my bro haha after bath i decided to jus laz around haha my bro went out to buy things and i sit on the bed watch tv and my bf starting bbq fire to heat food to eat the smoke make mi wanna slp so i lie down and there goes mi fall aslp awhile i thought i slp for abt 10 min buy according to my bf i slp for 30 to 45 min haha was tiredwe didnt slp alot on the first nite mahjong until 5 plus went to eat mac then back to chalet and slp until 10 plus haha we play mahjong until wendy and kelly and bell come we play mahjong and eat at the same time haha my poor bf have to keep bbqing the whole time poor him he tired can see so haha thx dear then we talk play and photograph until 11 plus finish last round mahjong and i cut my bdae cake so nice haha i almost cry haha then sent them to bus stop haha then back to clean up abit then bath and jump into bed haha its so nice to slp wif darlin hmm darlin put mi to bed ask mi slp if i cant slp he pad mi to slp and wait for mi to slp and hug mi tight as i slp tat so lovely i miss darlin hugging mi to slp liao haha

Third day
hmm check out day wake up at 9.30 pack stuff wash up and there we left the chalet no.H03 will miss it haha went home ...

hmm thx all my friend tat come and tat give mi present i'm so happy thx i realli had a fun time realli thx to kenneth and mevin for the precious moment de cup, kai xiang for the big big pen haha, kelly,bell,wendy,wayne and jj for the bear and skirt and thx yong wen and jj for the red packet but i realli feel bad hmm and thx dear for the mp4,ear piece and mouse and watch thx dear thx all my friends thx thx

2008-03-09T06:55:00.000-07:00

hmm today feeling much better ytd i cried was pretty sad felt like sjab family is gone but today some one change my thought may be i should say last camp cos he say i can still go back and see see tat wat i think so too btu or i shld say like this i jus cant let go sjab its realli like family sjab is so fun in my sec sch life and my bf say : hey sec sch life is over le....hmm i miss sec sch life.....haiz...abt sjab family may be i cannot becos of 1 or 2 person words tat hurt my feeling spoil de image of sjab family perhaps they are jus not true friends from this holding of birthday party i realise wat are realli true friends or wat my bf say is rite may be now i am closer wif my sch mates years latr they may be like sjab like tat lost of feeling tat so sad or may becos most of my classmate are adult already more mature thinking and saying bah haiz...june camp i wanna go i miss sjab life i miss sec sch life hmm i miss my friends starting to lost friends haiz...where are the true friends sad...nvm i have nice classmate and nice nice colleague i miss working wif shafeeqah laher last day is tml today was my last day wif her sad... working wif her was fun we chat we laugh we jk we serious so much fun working wif aunty is boring lor they jus keep calling mi doing stuff using mi shit lorhaiz.. nvm endure another 16th more mths and im going to leave marche seriously working there is not gd stress and nvm endure hmm so tired shall go slp yeah its 2 more days to my birthday haha gonna enjoy

2008-03-08T05:23:00.000-08:00

haiz...its a long time since i have blog haiz...its truelly a bad day today realli...haiz... early de morning gt nag by mother then work was smooth until when a idoit team leader come wat de F... u wan angry becos i confirm wif another bigger team leader she crazy make mi so piss off she also not the one who is writting my report some more wat else she wan to say...haiz...forget it...next i wanna say is i've gt gd friends shafika my best pal...haha next i'm feeling down and sad haiz...invited ppl and yet ppl are jus so...haiz... i feel realli upset wif sjab frienz some but not all haiz... perhaps its jus no longer de same any more perhaps i've left the place it doesnt exist any more its no longer the family i noe any more friends jus not friends hai....perhaps it the history ppl asking who going ,huh then no sjab de going then i go here most ppl i dunnoe la, hmm some ppl say then sjab ppl going then u sms tell mi bah...haiz...i feel like saying forget it lets cancel realli realli ppl out they say wat they wanand they dun feel hurt but it hurts realli haiz....some friends not free some jus dun even bother to reply or they are jus so busy haiz...i feel like tearing perhaps tat show wat true friends realli is haiz... now i felt my shatec classmate even we meet less then half a year its are better then those who are my friend for more then 2 yrs haiz... 2 more days to party 3 more days to my birthday....haiz...i may consider canceling the second day party for mostly sjab friends yo those who i nv invite i'm sorry cos i onli invite close friend any way it may be cancel....

To my Darlin i jus feel so sad but i have forgiven u le
To shafika i will miss u from work dun forget mi ur best pal

2008-01-16T23:40:00.000-08:00

hmm long tme no blog jus so lazy to blog boring...working working hmm sch open liao but also boring so nvm every still ok life jus as bored and busy too...sorry darlin always busy then complain u busy sry

2008-01-01T21:02:00.000-08:00

hmm its a long time since i have blog...so busy so lazy to blog...haiz...working is tired and its so...nvm its a brand new year le wats my resolution fo this year...hmm get better result in sch and work...wats my wish this yr its to be able to be wif my darlin always... hmm bored at home its my off day today hmm he had went to camp le...again haiz... always camp...always going to camp hmm nvm...bored bored at home nothing to do jus slacking...wif out him its so bored hmm sch starting in 2 weeks time i haven gotten myself a new bag...shall go find haha bored bored ok off to clear my room liao new year so must clear clear clear

2007-11-26T06:47:00.000-08:00

hmm once again another weeek have pass boring work work work haiz...jus felt so sad but nvm shall nto talk abt it haiz...hope he not keeping things in his heart haiz... why he wouldnt say or is it i too sensitive haiz..worry for him....hai...boring today skip second lesson boring 3 hrs i skip and gt a surprise i'm happy to see him haha hope it will happen again...haha shall not blog le bored gonna go slp all i wan to do is slp slp slp....

2007-11-18T22:15:00.000-08:00

sian...quite lazy to blog now adays hmm now suppose to be in class doing stupid project but jus so lazy and reluctant to do...wanted to ask if nv do will fail ma but i guess shld be not hmm jus study super hard for exam can le bah...project must do introdution for the restaurant plan alot alot of things jus hate to do projects...hmm guess where am i now...haha in sch library using com lor...sir not in class..so walk out to next door library hmm his lesson are boring boring teacher give boring lesson one...hmm sian...i miss the tiem i hate wif my darlin adn my sjab friends kind of felt left out le but wat to do...haiz...for study need work haiz...but at least still gt money take month haha hope can save money buy my laptop soon so can bring sch and use and play hhaasian..lesson of 3 hrs lor...now is 2.21 pm i still gt 1hr plus to go...super bore i wan to meet my friends my darlin but no time....onli my off days then can..hai...feel so de sad but acting not sad cos i dun wan him to be upset reflect on myself now adays may be i shld give him some freedom hmm someone ask mi if he go army how..i guess by then i will then zi guan bah...hmm now jus wanna spend more time wif him but jus no time....ok shall stop here if nto i go on writting rubbish jus to spent my time hmm wanna skip sch la but cant jus becos having a bro same sch and same class jus isnt a gd idea haiz....sian....lesson is so boring i rather work haha work gt money take....hmm tat day my work place there seems to have new cleaner hmm a guy which i guess is a young man hmm quite gd looking but wasted to work as cleaer...haha ok back to class soon le...

2007-11-09T06:45:00.000-08:00

hai...suddenly felt so lost in this world...darlin ask mi where de smile i have...and i reply gone...and i ask wats happening to mi...wats going on...jus dunnoe...ytd wasnt realli well head not well...and problems in my head...wanted to find ppl talk but no one free or i jus appoarch some ppl dunnnoe why...hmm darlin was sick and was slpping so couldnt talk to him felt so lonely ytd...no one to talk to....hmm mornign go work...wasnt in realli gd mood but put a happy face...but who noe who understand who cares...haiz...darlin still sick haiz...jus no one to talk to now...felt so lousy so bad cos i called my darlin early morning and its a miss call of 27 times haiz and he finally pick up but i kept quiet i didnt noe wat to say felt bad and jus haiz...nvm...shall now say le shall go rest le tody kanna alot of scolding

2007-11-08T03:59:00.000-08:00

hmm tue went to esplanade to watch chitty chitty bang bang a very very nice show...thx wendy such nice friend...hmm darlin & mi was also late for the show we rush and run through citylink and reach there jus a few seconds before it starts haha then went eating supper then go home... wed make up then went meeting darlin at tm after he finish sch then we went queenways shoppign centre jus to get a bball for my bro and he jus an idoit haiz...buy him the ball fro his bdae he nv even say thank you hmm then went to darlin hse awhile then darlin cycle mi home left the bball and stuff at home but saw something which makes mi sad....haiz...my parent quarrel haiz...this family seems broken liao...after tat went down meet darlin and he cycle mi to jalan kayu meet wendy, bowl, yong wen, wayne, hui min and kay for dinner prata haha then we went to seng kang a park behind hui min hse there we play hmm there is a thing where it goes turning round an d round very fun but very giddy after playing wif kay dunnoe how many round and also before tat was playing the cycling in round and round after all the playing i couldnt stand felt so giddy and i vomitted and darlin went running far away haha weny,kay and hui min look at mi i felt so haha dunnoe how to say then started to feel so sick le...stay awhile was very giddy but try to endure then abt 11 we went home bath and rest my head was dam giddy ujntil morning still giddy but got up went to work sms darlin and darlin fell sick le he didnt eat much last nite he was also feeling giddy when we were at prata hse hmm darlin had a fever now still resting i felt like seeing him but couldnt haiz.. both of us is sick but at least he could rest and has his family members care hai...haiz.. went home after work the hse is so quiet haiz... jus hate to come home haiz.. wanna hide myself but couldn't haiz.. haiz.. perhaps we jus dunnoe how to express our love for each other haiz..shall not say liao so unwell head is still giddy and aching...hai...hope he get well soon

2007-11-02T06:52:00.000-07:00

feeling so tired...feeling so moodless...jus gt no mood...hai...threee days i make ppl sad...tat how bad i am ...hai... shall stop here so lazy to blog...

2007-10-30T20:34:00.001-07:00

hmm today is halloween day haha hmm and also last day of oct so fast nov le tml bro bdae...hmm sian dunnoe wats happen these few days i jus feel so stress up... wif study wif work and WIF FAMILY PROBLEM....haiz...dun wanna tok le sian hai...worry for him injured his ankle le when playing bball... :(

2007-10-19T05:31:00.000-07:00

hmm another week gonna past...seriously time realli flies ..hmm work and study...study is fun..work is also fun but lots of lots of things to rem to learn hoping to be able to cope things well and hope doing my mise en plac fast fast...always kanna scolding and nagging so de sian...realli miss sjab...miss muy friends miss my favourite sports haiz...work and work theres so little time left...haiz...wanna apologise to all my friends for mi being so busy wif sch and work...haiz...i'm so so super tired now...last nite didn't slp well...its like the body is resting but the mind is not.... whole nite waiting and waiting haiz...jus felt so disappointed but its over forgive and forget...haiz...sometimes i jus dunnoe why...lots of things i wish to say...jus like my blog song hmm shall not say much....i have realli done alot gave alot le...haiz...shall go rest...

2007-10-14T05:54:00.000-07:00

hmm long time no blog le...its been abt 2 weeks le bah if not wrong hmm work and study...work is stress...lots of things to learn..things needed to do fast...haiz..hoping to cope things well....hope theres more time...haiz...suddenly i misses st john...the fun...the hardship...the unhapppiness... lots of stuff...miss my junior, squad mates and seniors...things change le..suddenly when we met theres nothing to say...going back also nothing...think its realli far awhile le...guess some may have forgotten mi....hmm miss my cca...now..i jus hope things goes well...hmm fri went to samuel birthday party...hmm lots of thoughts thinking of having a bdae party too...but now for the time being work...haiz...miss lots of stuff...haiz..trouble trouble tats all ...

2007-10-02T07:49:00.000-07:00

yeah....start of sch le.... hmm still ok mr andrew left le so fast i miss his lessons...short and sweet hmm now new course tutor hmm still ok lar jus his lesson is slow and boring haha hmm tml start work lo...hope it will be a smooth and easy de haha...dear dear...i jus dunnoe wat u...will give u more time de...sorry sorry

2007-09-30T07:18:00.000-07:00

bored wake up early today went out abt 10+...met up wif darlin went giant then to courts at tm hmm went looking for laptops aim 1 liao hmm told mum abt it she say wait till i work first mth then say sad...hope i can buy laptop asap haha realli hoping to get a personal laptop wish mi luck hmm lots of stuff to get roller blades, laptop for the moment haha hope darlin can also get it hmm then went playnig bball haha shoot another 3 point ball hmm bowl gt a shock haha looks like improve or its jus luck hmm didnt expect to kai to ask abt the cab fee he paid us le well bowl say may be he is changing perhaps bah hmm shall give him more time to change for the better then darlin cycle mi home...wif the accompany of kai haha he cycle too darlin showing his skills haha its dam fast its jus woah....haha fun ok tats all for today will blog less le tml start sch le and starting work on wed hoping it will be a smooth one yeah...i will miss my darlin....hmm sry darlin for being so lorso haiz...cant help i also wei ni hao de...

2007-09-29T07:11:00.000-07:00

Sun 23/9/07

My class bbq at mevin hse...wao his hse is dam nice i mean the condo is dam nice like animal hse haha every where u go u see animals haha after outing wif darlin rush home while darlin went to work hmm took the prawns and sotong and went running to ponggol to meet my classmate kenneth and ex classmate steven as i was abit late hmm so paiseh let them wait hmm steven drive us there haha after meeting we went to pick our friend cum course tutor Mr andrew up and we went going to mevin hse at simei hmm reach there early..wao his hse us dam nice the condo is dam dam nice some more have nice facilities haha his hse is like a animal hse every where u go u see animals haha hmm bbq started jus bbq and bbq and eat then we til abt 10+ some left hmm left mevin's friends mi, bro kenneth,jeff... we played games its call indian poker hmm first we each take a card then the u think who is the smallest u pour the drink or liqour mix and the smallest card will have to drink...hmm i tio once...nearly drunk but nv cos jeff my second bro help mi drink finish...thx bros for taking care of mi...unlike my bro haha if if i have bro like u all are my bro tat will be gd haha...then wanted to go home abt 1+ but bro didnt wan so stay later...see them swim at the pool i felt like swimming too but didnt bring extra cloths and i wore long pants so i sit there watch onli when home abt 2+ reach home abt going to 3 and slept at 3 poor darlin was worry and he stay up even after work jus to wait for mi to reach home call him using hse phone then he went to slp haa immediately after i call haha sry sry darlin

Mon 24/9/07

Wake up felt boring and sian couldnt meet dear de actually cos his grand ma birthday went taking mooncake to my nanny hse stay there awhile pei nanny chat then watch tv then went ot the pool play awhile took artistic pics then darlin call after he is done helping his father...went amk meet darlin took mrt to someset pei darlin go take money then went to ps stay there shop awhile then its gettng late darlin gt to go home for celebration i also gt to go so we went home

Tue 25/9/07

went rock climbing again...haha had fun target to complete 2 walls yesss i made it then we took photos haha then we went safra there de swimming pool the entrance fee is 3.20 per public its like dam exp but we still went in try hha swim abt 2 laps tired so jus sit at bubble pool relax wif darlin had fun wif darlin and his sis haha then went home so tired haha

Wed 26/9/07

went vivo to sign contract for my attachment at marche restaurant haha as a cook trainee hope to learn more things and a smooth working time haha darlin pei mi go we went eating pastamania hmm darlin spent alot cos i gt no money poor darlin gt to work so hard

Thu 27/9/07

meet darlin spent some time together wif darlin then went meeting bowl and yongwen went to boon keng wendy's hse but waited for her to reach home we went playing mahjong haha win some money then all was like hungry and wanted to end the rounds but wendy's bro played for yong wen and even help him win back some money and he kept tiao zheng until the pro sat down and play which was wendy's mum haha then then we finally clear the rounds haha went eating dinner wif wendy's family except for his dad hmm they treated us we felt bad it was dam full we went finding ice box but the shop close on the way wendy's mum keep teaching mi to steal things haha but she was joking onli haha then we went home before we left we thx aunty for the dinner and we left

Fri 28/9/07

its BBQ day and ISABELL's bday haha early morning wake up cant slp haha excited morning call darlin then they went sheng shong to buy food then after 12 went to darlin hse to help out haha its like playing hha then 2+ bowl and wayne came then we waited for yongwen to arrive then we went calling maxi cab but waited for so long and felt frustrated le we decide to go down find cab haha reach there abt 5+ hmm lucky we went to the shelter early before it started to rain then after awhile abt 7 its stop but it was winding haha hmm bbq started isabell,wendy, kelly,ben ,bowl ,wayne ,yongwen ,kai xiang ,wen hua ,felix ,wei sheng and soon jing came haha we chat bbq and eat finally mi,wendy, isabell and kelly finally met its a long time since i saw kelly wanted to take pics but we forgotten and kelly say next time bah so we left abt 11 hmm wendy's mum gave soon jing, wei sheng,kelly and bell a ride while felix didnt told us he drove car but we found out..he had not gotten his liscience then he went driving his father car tats not gd but forget it...he send the rest home while mi,ben and kai xiang went taking a cab home...actually ben wanted to sent mi home but due to kai xiang said tat hougang first if not it will be a big turn from seng kang to hougang but in the end it actually could go to my hse fist then kai xiang den ben but nvm...ben alighted first then kai told uncle his hse first when it could be my hse first hmm normally guys will let girls alight first but he nvm jus not gentle man haha not jus tat hmm he went a big turn to his hse then he alight anf nv talk abt how muc the cab fees he didnt not pay a single cents lor then he jus ask from here can go my hse rite then he left since he didnt ask how much so i nv mention...darlin said i shld ask him..but nvm i those who wont ask if u have a sense u shld ask lor...nvm then was tired so forgotten to told uncle to turn at the right point so alighted at the other side and walk home told darlin wat happen and darlin call and ask mi wat happen so told him then went home sms wif darlin awhile jiu fallen asleep le

Sat 29/9/07

hmm slack in the morning then went shopping at cp waited for my mum to done wif her nails then went buying shorts my darlin will be very happy haha hmm then went home slack at home hmm darlin keep injuring himself ytd due to hand numbness after rockclimbing his hand gt burn when setting up the bbq then today when opening partition during work he kapp his hand and theres blueblack my poor darlin work so hard for money and work til injured hand when his tired not enough slp poor boy

2007-09-21T21:02:00.000-07:00

bored...sian...haiz...nothing to do...haiz...feeling so sian...how i wish...haiz...gt lots of things bored bored bored...hlots of stuff keep in my heart....bored

2007-09-21T07:03:00.000-07:00

Finally finish my exams...why am i blogging hmm becos i'm bored....today went playing mahjong after exam win some money itws so fun hope can play again haha hmm sian...bored bored bored hmm thinking of wat to do for the next few days....hope my whole week will be pack wif events haha cos is the one and onli holidays and one and onli week left le...sian will miss my friends le...especially him...haiz...jus dunnoe how to descibe myself now....bored bored wat shld i do....hmm nvm shall end here...I realli hope u can pei mi more...and hoping mon u will ask mi go...

2007-09-20T03:30:00.000-07:00

hmm shall blog abt sat now...since i'm bored...hmm sat was fun...went rock climbing wif darlin ,darlin's sister and kai xiang..its like long time nv climb le there lots of curve de lor its not straight like pulau ubin one....hmm i and kai xiang onli complete 1 wall.... darlin's sis complete 2 walls and darlin has the highest record he complete 4 walls haha pictures of him haha look how fit he is so talented hmm next is photo of mi climbing haha hmm i look so ugly lar haha

2007-09-19T06:49:00.000-07:00

hmm there are two things i wanna blog that is abt sat and today...but i'll blog abt today first shall blog abt sat after my exams...hmm today..my exam was ok shld be able to pass bah...haiz...then meet my darlin...went for lunch at kfc...then darlin say gt another appointment which was bball then went home change cloths went playng bball...that is now wat i wan to blog abt...haiz..bball..bball...feel so sian and sad... i'm jus the the liao for playing bball...i actually dun realli like playing but becos darlin like playing so i try learning...haiz...doe it mean tat if ur darlin is gd at it i must also be gd at it...haiz...i'm not blaming or saying he force mi its jus mi myself...haiz...was hoping tat he would say jus be myself....hai...moodless dunnoe wat to say....bball...i'm like an idoit standing at the court when they were playing shooting also lousy...feel so stupid and useless...he so gd and so multi-talented...shall stop here....

2007-09-12T04:38:00.000-07:00

lots of words to say but jus dunnoe how to say...i've lots of ?? but...nvm hmm i wanna u to be here wif mi.....nothing much to say le

2007-09-01T07:11:00.000-07:00

hmm looks like its again another two week pass le...week 7 & 8 is gone.... more weeks to go...hmm things were alright...sch sch...hmm last week fri was a sad day for hihs...one of the student was knock down by a bus and he pass away...it was sad...hmm was also effected by it hmm although i dun realli noe him but i felt pity for him ...R.I.P junior..wish all hihs sec 4 and his family & gf would be strong... hmm after this incident it awake mi...felt afraid of losing him, my friends, my family...when ever i cross the road or do any thing i would be more becareful..life is so fragile...we must cherish our loved one.... u promise mi nv to leave mi....i'm so afraid of losing u....i luv u so much darlin...huggies...

2007-08-17T20:58:00.000-07:00

i'm back after so many weeks...haiz...busy wif sch and problem and problems keep coming...my 3 mths gonna be up...soon i'll be going for attachment...hmm hope i be able to go through every thing...haiz..to everyone... especially my close friend...i would like to apologise due to some problems...my life has change....dun have to say much but things will slowly go back to normal bah....ppl who noes will understand....had lot of fun...during this month....national day...was fun..my junior did a great job...was happy to be there but felt quiet sad...cos i felt tat i guess i have already lost touch wif st john le...going makes no sense...i mean jus no feeling...junior are like strangers to mi le...onli some...juniors are close... even senior and squadmates are no longer close le... may be its jus my thinking...hmm..perhaps i might be gone forever haha...i miss secondary sch life..wif my cca family it was so fun...hmm haiz...hmm nvm my classmate now are also great...they are jus like a bros to mi and uncles to mi ahhaa....lots of stuff..happen...but still the same i gonna fight my way there 3 more years to freedom haha...gonna endure...and work harder....fire works for national day was nice and the army stuff cool man... last sat at wendy hse was fun....long time nv go le....we surprise her wif a bdae cake hha and she was realli surpise haha i'm happy for her...haha we played mahjong it was fun but slow haha...then it was time to go home....shall stop here...more to update haha....

2007-07-27T21:40:00.000-07:00

long time no update le...hmm kind of lazy hmm coping sch work...hmm doing still ok...will work harder..hmm bored...i wanna watch movie the simpson de movie...hmm when will i have time...hmm nothing to do at home so bored...tml will also be the same...sian hmm at least today gt program to go...i wanna go out but also busy...i'm still waiting to find time...hmm ok..shall update again bah...off to find present for my friend le...

2007-07-09T07:48:00.000-07:00

hmmm sch starts early...jumping out of my bed and giving it a fresh start felt really gd bah...hmmm can say i jump up and when walk to the bath room i shouted to my cousin oh yeah sch open lo...haha then he look back wif a ??? haha was jus trying to joke haha hmmm sch started weird...realli weird super weird...when i step into the room its like oh my am i in the right room....hmm it all UNCLES....hmmm in a class of 15 ppl hmm abt 7 of them are uncles 3 are teenage and the rest in between uncles and teenage...all in 15 ppl there onli 2 girls and i'm one of them...i'm most probably the second or third youngers...there a nother younger which is 17 and the older student is 55 Yrs old....hmmm sch was bored.. fist of intro then admin stuff then break then to another lesson but nothign was taught we had self intro wif our tutor...which is the part i had which is self intro...as...teacher ask us to say our name, where we from last time either work or study then follow by how we going next or plan to do next then hobbie...every thign went fine until...when i said may be plannign to open a restaurant wif my bro the teacher react...oh yong fong is ur bro....then knock my head...then teacher added...oh now theres a bro and sis in our class and u noe wat next...the whole class laugh...hmmm then was break then to princple of western cooking was jsu on safety and the kitchen stuff then home sweet home early dismiss yeah then went down to someset met someone...then went to bishan buy stuff hmm then tired went taking bus home and gonan start another day...soon....hope its no longer weird hoping its smooth everyday...felt so silly fo the pass few days hahaperhaps i was jus afraid haha....but tat was the first time i saw him dropping tears and the bladding was fun haha enjoy watching him picking up the skill his ownself wif jus abit of coaching by mi this self consider pro haha....he falls alot haha i had a fun time watching him falling haha some more video tat moment haha....i nv forget hha shall be off to bed soon

2007-07-07T07:11:00.000-07:00

time runs so fast...left wif 1 day....i must cherish the tiem i have haiz...after tat sch will start and less time i have le....had a fun week before i start sch...went watching movie,eating wat i wanted...jus some stuff didnt buy due to money wise ...i must safe money for sch purpose....hopefully i can survive.....after i fisnish spending my money...haiz...who noes...hmmm i had a lot of fun....but now as the time draw near i'm so afraid tat we both will be busy and have less time....i dun wanna tat happen....haiz...hopefully bah....hmmm sch i gonna to begin i gonna miss him le....we will have less time le....haiz...wat to do...gt to start studying hard le....tats wat my father say to mi...hai...i'm jus so afraid.....nvm i shall begin every day as a fresh great day

2007-06-29T06:59:00.000-07:00

hmm...once again...ntohign to do so do some updating of my life...hmm ytd...hmm suppose to meet some ppl for lunch but some ppl back out haha hmm so basically didnt realli had lunch hmmm some one say buy stuff for mi to eat in the end is i buy for him haha...hmm spent my afternoon playing bball...someone wasnt feeling well perhaps becos of wed haha we went crazy haha hmm concern for him but his reply makes mi piss off but nvm haha had fun playing bball then went home under the rain....btu haiz...so sian at nite talk on phone wif someone but when even i talk on phone someone always wan to slp haiz...i give up haha...at home is peace ful these few days cos she doesnt talk to mi so i dint talk to her lor....simple and easy rite but haiz...shall not talk liao... hmm talk abt today...woke up do nothing watch you tube then went playing bowling with someone haha and i won him 3 times out of 3 games haha hmm tat was the second time i won him haha...hmm he's gd at bowling too but some times its jus luck haha hmm tats all le boring life...cant wait to start sch haha if not being at home is boring but when it stat sch it will be sian again cos its long study week onli sun free haha...nvm at least dun have to stay at home so long haha

2007-06-27T06:09:00.000-07:00

Back to blogging again…haiz..felt so sian so bored…haiz…actually I have done typing my update but becos of a net work problem I have to retype haiz…felt like a tired soul…or even an empty soul..haiz…life is really up and downs for mi….have been crying and tearing these two weeks…I couldn’t stand….he told mi not to think but I jus couldn’t I told myself not to bother abt it le but it jus keep disturbing mi…haiz…whatever I say they jus dun believe then when I’m lying they believe…haiz…wats wrong….i jus dun understand at all why ppl family and be peaceful and happy but look at my its horrible…haiz…the fact is tat once u lose their faith and trust it means gone case…why ur freedom is gone….hai…every one make mistakes so do they but why no matter wat we always have to suffer…haiz…I counldnt stand after every tired day everybody long to go back to their home but to mi I dun felt like coming home always coming home wif a heavy heart…hate it every time have to face her how I wish I could leave but I jus cant haiz…no money no support every thing no…now wherever I go I have to tell them if I’m coming home for dinner as he said I must still call her and tell her so I try…. I told her I’m nto coming hoem for dinner and she said u dun need to tell mi I dun cook ur dinner any more we eat simple tats wat she said but he didn’t hear wat she say when he ask mi did I tell her I say I did and he scolded mi for telling her late and wheather I say or not saying is till get scolding…why…haiz…jus cant stand correct also scold wrong also scold really felt really depress…dunnoe wat to do but someone told mi to endure but how long do I have to endure foever?? Haiz…can life be better…hmm I dunnoe gt lots to say…but jus dunnoe how haiz…no oen cares now haiz….depression I’m on my way le haiz… dunnoe felt really tired….i really thx god for letting mi found someone who really cares and understand mi and also believe in mi….tat some one who is always never fail to be beside mi when I’m down…I thx him and god

i'm back...

2007-06-19T09:16:00.000-07:00

hmmm it a long time since i blog....haha my life is like a roller coaster haiz...up and down but mostly down bah....workign working finally i have stop and rest for abt 3 weeks before my sch start haha have been frustrated these fews days haiz... but he always there for mi and accompany mi felt so luv....thx...i will rem his birthday wish...forever and the promise i made... having a long break haven had fun since o lvl i'm gonna rest and play ahah i dun care abt those troubles haha the most let them scold haha hmm its realli loing every since i last up date dun have time plus abit lazy ahaha hmm camp was fun but tiring and its memorable for mi fianlly felt so useful haha shall update again haha hmm special thx to him for being there always, cheering mi up always and thx for helping mi fix my com although not realli he fix ahha its wif his friend boon peng help haha thx any way hmm now finally my com gt sound le haha carry the cpu is heavy but although not very heavy its still heavy my hands, shoulder and neck aching haha hmmm thx thx

2007-04-28T07:30:00.000-07:00

back on blogging update abt my life.....haiz...family problem...forever...pretty sad those days...sry to let u worry le...hmmm i noe i wasnt myself those days couldnt help it...didnt noe how to and end up crying in front of u when i told myself not to cry but i couldnt help it when it came to my mind it jus tears...ever time i cry u hug mi...i felt so confortable and luv...life gets better its jus like a roller coaster haiz...work work work been working starting to feel bored liao afetr o til now haven been playing lor...haiz...now mth end le...so poor no money haiz...must wait till 4/5 then gt money ahha gt to bear wif it a few days... hmm busy tats how we are hmmm hopefully we be more free next time....jus have to keep waiting for u when i'm free u are busy when u free i'm busy working...haha funny but nvm hmmm life jus so boring hope there will be more...i gonna have fun next week a break time for myself ahha gonna ride bicycle...watch sun set and sun rise wif u haha hope we can haha cant wait to play i gt lots of things to do before i start sch haha everybody starts sch le....left mi...hmm last fri....went to had steamboat wif yong wen,kai xiang,hui min, wayne, ben and bowl to celebrate bowl's birthday...haha afetr steamboat we went playing bowling haha hmmm tat day bowling sucks cos didnt play well becos of my hand de injury ahha and the luck too haha...hmm it was so fun...but the next day gt work in morning i was like so tired at work ahha shall update another time le....hmmm ming wei i update liao hor haha...hmmm felt i lost touch wif sjab le....still struggling wif decision and log list aarrhh....

2007-04-11T06:55:00.000-07:00

back to post again...haiz...wasnt very hapy these few days...things happen...haiz...mon gt scolded by her...haiz...was upset...i jus dunnoe how to speak dunnoe wat to say....mon he came to accompany mi eat dinner...he came fetching mi from work....on the way back to hougang....told him abt my problems...haiz...then half way i kept quiet....tears came rolling out it jus kept rolling....i realli couldnt stand i was realli upset abt her....i cried badly....haiz...went to eat pepperlunch had a full dinner long time no eat so well le...then i went home on the bus i took pics...nothing to do...haiz...i told him i'm gonna hide myself tml...he sms mi but i slp liao he said nope i'm not gonna hide...he will come fetch mi then he said if i wan go any where he will pei wo....in the morning of tue...i reply him...telling him he dun need to come but he said he will come fetch mi jiu shi le....he said he cannot put down his heart...he came we went to amk to return his vcd then went buying stuff at ntuc xtra haha....wed...not working...in the morning she start scolding again...haiz...not onli mi and also to my father haiz....i felt realli sad...lots of stuff i jus couldnt stand...she from 10+ scold until11+ wah long breath arh....haiz...haiz...she said this family gonna be separate....haiz...let it be bah...perhaps it has already been broken le....haiz...i jus dun understand...then after go his hse...suppose to go in the morning at 11 but becos of her i told him i wun be so early sumthing happen at home then he reply asking mi wat happen i didnt tell him onli told him when i reachign then sms him then at his hse he ask mi wat happen didnt wan to tell him cos i noe i will cry...but then i told him he went to do stuff i lie there closing my eyes wif tears he jus kept looking at mi till i open my eyes and it was full of tears...haiz...i tears again and he wipe away my tears...but i continue crying in his comfort hug....i jus keep crying i realli couldnt bear wif it le...then he wipe my tears away and he made mi smile...then later the noon we went to play bowling and i have a striaght XXX haha pro rite haha i win him....haha four rounds first round was training from second onwards the competition begins haha 2nd round i won again then 3rd round he won and the final round i won haha...champion ahha...then went to play bball wif him and our friends...actually didnt wan to go....he ask mi go i said nvm lar u go play...then he ask mi where i go i told him i go home...he turn and tell mi no i must go he said i told him nvm i go home he didnt let mi go as...he noes tat i wont go home i will go hide myself...so i went...we had fun haha i was like so...dunnoe how to desribe lousy in bball but still can manage to have a fews tai kou de shoots 3 fen haha its jus tai kou haha....back home....haiz...its mi alone wif my parents...haiz....nd tats my life...haiz...feeling so unhappy haiz....

2007-04-07T18:26:00.000-07:00

back to post again...wanted to post the day before but the couldnt get in to the page ...nvm Fri....hmm had funat mediacorp....we st john zone 10 went to mediacorp for a programme call music in the air in chinese it is call yin yue ge dou zhang....haha we took pics...saw cai ming you he was gd looking and handsome....we also saw wang jian fu,su zhi cheng, four ppl from xiao yuan superstar....hmmm ll the recording ended at 11+...so went home late wanted to wait fro bus but there seems to be no bus so we took a cab home....a maxi one the driver was gd each ppl 7 dollar to our home from hq wah...there was 7 of us...so i send most home then i was the last third to drop the taxi then edmund and mindy was the last one haha....sat...bored at home...afternoon go kai hse pei him....see him play mahjong i was dam pro haha no la not pro jus luck onli i play one round i win...i help my bro play one round i also win haha was tat pro or luck haha....hmmm the rest of the rounds i was like going to fall asleep he continue to play...nvm...then go grap a bite then he ask mi accompany him go amk to return vcd so i went at tat time i was thinking abt the same problem...i felt tat i was very bad say dun wanna force him but still keep asking him how how...haiz...i quiet down on the way to amk and all alongi was quiet and didnt smile...he noes when to make mi smile and hold my hand he said he was going i told him abt wat i was thinking and i said sorry to him....he say nahz...until at nite...haiz...he sms mi telling die lar...yong jus call him then i ask him why wat happen...he told me he today no go work plus tml he need work early so i ask him go work lor....then he said he dun wanna mi unhappy and sad then if he no work he no money then next week onli work two days he say how to choose so i told him no need to choose go work he ask mi why i said tat i told him work important plus he gt no money...then he said he felt bad agree to go le in the end nv go....then i didnt reply him le...felt realli very sad but i didnt blame him perhaps its jus fate....i jus felt so sad didnt noe why...my heart jus felt pain...

2007-04-05T20:52:00.000-07:00

tue hmmm nothing happen...as usual working working then go home....and u came waiting for mi at my hse de bus stop...was actually unhappy but when i see u it all flys alway when i see u i smiled....wed...wake up early go temple pray then aunty lopang mi to work since its shun lu haha...haiz...gt scolded by boss saying we nv stock up and the place was dirty haiz...but nvm...i will jia you...hmmm was realli not happy when u send the four letter words through the phone i noe u not scolding mi but i realli dun like it nvm there goes wed....gotten my pay finally....recieve wei's msg asking to go church on sun...thinking shld i hmm then i ask him to go wif mi he didnt confirm he said if it isnt pure he will leave this words make mi think alot haiz... then he ask mi to go his church tml nite hmmm i hesite awhile then i agree to go....thu not working off...went to meet him then had fun....went to amk to return vcd then we went to eat kfc which make mi so full and didnt eat any thing the rest of the day....he talk to mi abt church and he said alot which make mi think alot thinking or may be i shldnt ask him to go cos i noe he will feel very de unwell at the same time i wish he could go wif mi...i think alot and didnt talk and smile he came asking mi but i didnt say any thing then he make mi laugh and i throw those problems back...hmmm then we went ps watching movie TMNT it was funny then went looking for my shoe but dun have my size so sad....then we went shopping till 7 then we took bus to his church on the way i kept thinking was afraid but wif him by myside those afraid was gone when i enter the church and when the service started i suddenly felt like i'm back to the past when i went to my old church its like it brought mi back to the old days...how nice it was....thx alot it ended late but its ok i enjoy myself alot....hmmm perhaps going another time again if he ask mi to go bah haha...it realli gave mi a different feeling which i dunnoe how to descibe....hmmm then he accomapany mi take bus...he wanted to send mi home but i told him to go home early rest eraly can see him very tired...hoping he will take care more...he jus seems to be very tired all the time....haiyo worry for him...on the way home i felt very happy to be wif him...reach home kanna nag...nvm use to it liao haha...shall stop here le...shall blog again abt today....

2007-04-02T17:05:00.000-07:00

in the morning of monday the 2nd of april i had a dream.....i dream of u then when i awka by sms it was u i replied u and i was thinking i am still in dream or is it real start morning wif blues...gt up 4+ get ready to go for work pass by ur hse after placing the cd as i walk pass i wanted to peep into ur room in the end i did not i look through ur window and it was dark i knew u were slping well and in ur dreams didnt noe why but when i left i felt like cying is it becos i miss u alot or am i weird off to work was slightly late for work but nvm felt moody lots of mistake too haiz...i forgotten to punch my card again so forgetful i told my colleague saying i'm old le she said not i'm old is becos i'm thinking of him was tat true perhaps its true bah....haiz.....still the same question will there be time? i jus dunnnoe i hope the ans is YES...whose fault? our fault? ur fault? my fault? its jus no bodys fault working today again but i'm hoping to see u after work...will u come i dare not think so much le off to work....

2007-03-31T07:59:00.000-07:00

hmm jus decided to change my blogskin cos i find it very died...nothign to do o change lor ask mi why i not schooling cos no sch wan me sian all my friends all go different sch dunnoe still can be like last time ma different path hope we meet up often... haiz...how much time left le....3 more mths left bah....then i will mostlikely start sch le haiz...will we still be able to be like now when i start sch and u start sch too haiz...will there still be free time for us to meet up u said yes there will be time and u said one day gt 24 hrs but how i wish one day gt 48 hrs....haiz...i'm jus afraid perhaps very afraid i wanna tell u but jus dunnoe how to say haiz...although u made ur promise and i believe in u but i'm still afraid haiz...i noe i'm problematic haiz...u told mi dun think so much but jus cant help it...wish i could spent more time wif u but some times its jus the matters of time its either i'm busy or u are busy some times i work u off then when i off u working although there are some times becos i off u didnt go work thx haiz...but if we no work we gt no money haiz

2007-03-30T06:15:00.000-07:00

hmm long time no blog le jus dunnoe wat to blog...haiz how i wish some one would shut mi down so i can rest...haiz there are jus way so many stuff in my mind....haiz...but i'm happy to have him by myside he made his promised i hope he will nv break it....i hope it would last forever...

2007-03-05T02:55:00.000-08:00

i'm still waiting to chaneg a new com...i wan to buy new com...having a long holiday before i start schooling i need a job too...dear i miss u haha thx for being by myside always...always luv u

2007-02-25T02:48:00.000-08:00

lunar new year.....wish all my friend happy chinese new year

2007-01-09T23:19:00.000-08:00

hmm long time no update le...my com spoil le...haiz very suai arh...before go camp de one day my com spoil go camp le...last day cum first day of new year my phone spoil...haiz so suai...no com no phone its boring life...haiz...some mroe ppl start sch mi at home slacking nothing to do so sian....first week of new year busy wif orientation stuff...haiz...who noes on the day i fallen sick mid nite gt fever....acutally gt mac de breakfast eat de in the end nv go cos i having fever..rest awhile then bath le jiu go sch help out in orientation but...in the end before they start walking around i cannot stand i went home rest le...he was nice he called and ask how am i was happy haha...planning to buy a new com....i plan to buy a laptop...hmmm u are still busy some times i wonder when can we go out ....long time no go out wif u...watch movie or wat haiz...i long time no watch movie le...shall find time and find ppl go watch movie and shopping if i have money haha...i'm still finding a job....

2006-12-22T05:39:00.000-08:00

Days has pass...christmas is bear jus a few days ...haiz...how to spent christmas...dunnoe haiz...how i wish u arent so busy hmm i miss u so much..do u noe tat...haiz...christmas...haiz...if there much time how gd it will be...wish to spent more time wif u...but nvm i nv blame u...i believe in u...hmm both of us are busy wif our stuff will there be time...there's lots of thing i wish i could talk to u...how i wish we could have fun...i guess u and i haven be able to smile and be happy...if i could share ur burden how gd will it be...wish tat u wont be so stress and tired...smile...i guess its hard but i hope u would stay happy....sry to add more trouble and make u more stress haiz....

2006-12-13T03:21:00.000-08:00

haiz...life isnt life any more...haiz...jus one mistake and its all gone...my freedom...the trust...haiz...things are going wrong haiz...how i wish these things didnt happen...changing job soon...started to like the job but have to change no choice haiz...i gonna wait for another 4 years...haiz..wad am i going to do u dun give mi chance to change over...and let u trust mi again...i realise my mistake haiz...there jus some things realli unfair and i'm not happy abt but wad can i do i talk back kanna beaten haiz...and u always say sis this sis tat i'm me and she is she i cannot be as perfect as her...haiz...my sorrows who noes may be he noes how i wish...dear wad can i do how...haiz...how i wish i gt more time haiz....i dun blame but i blame myself haiz...its not ur fault either haiz...say so much also no use u wont see one de haiz....how long can i endure i dunnoe...i may collapse one day haiz...hope i am strong as i think haiz....life sux now....realli sux...god pls help mi...lighten my suffering i noe my mistake haiz...or may be i do not desever to be help...oh lord bless mi bless him too thx bless my life.....

2006-11-27T19:43:00.000-08:00

Finally its freedom haha o lvl has ended a week ago....now is work and play time...why work...nowork where gt money go play haha wat a tired week has pass work...lose my confident jus in one day...becos of the aunty then gain half back on the next day thx to girl who taught mi well...its boring week....i jus felt moody some times...wonder do u care abt mi wonder if u realli zai hu wo....always waiting for ur sms and at the same time u are also waiting for mi to sms u...its seems like always i sms u first then u reply then u wont sms mi de haiz...these few weeks u are busy i understand but when u are not busy i wonder who ask mi .... haiz...wish to hug N see ur smile and hope to hear from u tat u zai hu wo...can i haha my mood is always like these wat if i gt depression one day for thinking too much le haha...i wonder wat would u do haha bbq is fun although jus a few ppl haha we chat and laugh eat lox too haiz now my voice become worst...my voice sucks now lox....

2006-11-13T21:39:00.000-08:00

hmm long time no blog hmm busy wif exam hopefully it all goes quite ok hmm busy busy busy am i realli busy i dunnoe haha slack here slack there hmm no work no money i'm broke then u will say go take money from parent haiz...i jus felt i wanna be independent but apart from this reason is also becos money not enough they have to pay this pay tat bills here bills there still gt renovation of my ah ma hse haiz i jus dun wish to bother them earn my own and spent it its stuff but i will endure haiz...shall blog abt yesterday haiz...yesterday was my father's bdae haiz...shld be a happy day cos i always wish tat my family could stay together eat and have fun chat and laugh like others but haiz...why i dun feel excited why i dun felt happy lots of why jus no ans...parent dotes my sis and bro haiz...not tat they dun dote mi they do but i guess not as much as they do to my sis and bro u will say i jealous am i dunnoe i jus felt this way...nd its always i felt i shldnt belong here why when ever things happen they push the blame on mi i rem when i was in pri sch there was once my mother left the hse and they all say tat its my fault and i cause my mother to leave haiz...from pri sch till now i nv felt happy i felt so tired of wearing a mask pretending to be happy when i'm not haiz...wat to do they are still my family...i always hid in one corner and cry out alone thinking why why haiz yesterday every thing was quite ok but still some unhappy stuff wat ever i do or say they dun support and give mi face haiz felt like i am a disgrace to them wat i'm interested in like soccer they dun like mi to do tat and they nv supported mi in wat ever i do in my cca or my studys haiz i cried and cried until both eyes wear red they didnt noe they didnt felt as may eb they didnt care haiz i went to bed early had a gd slp now i felt much better how i wish one day every thing will change to a better may eb after i leave this hse bah haiz...waiting to grow up...but i wanna thx some one who is always by myside when i'm sad and trouble thx alot haiz shall not talk abt it shall blog again haha busy watch video smile pasta a chinese idol show its nice...

zhi yao xiao yi xiao mei you she mo shi qing guo bu liao

2006-11-01T06:39:00.000-08:00

Found a love poem in my friend's blog...hmm find it quite nice and interesting here it goes.....

You make me feel special,

You make me feel new,

You make me feel loved,

With everything you do.

You were there when I'm sad.

Turning my frown upsidedown.

Every time we are together,

It seems almost perfect.

My eyes glow when i see you.

I smile when we are together.

No matter how bad things are,

You always make them better.

The way you care for me,

The way you hold me tight.

The similarities we have,

I want you forever.

You bring joy to my life

I dont even know why.

I love you no matter what,

As you are be for me always.

I just want you to know,

Even if we are different,

I will always love you!

No matter what, day or night

2006-10-30T04:43:00.000-08:00

i had a gd time on fri thx...haiz...boring life...stuck at home bored till death rotting too...nothing to say...my mood is always like this my eyes are tired i have no idea...sian sian sian....haiz

2006-10-20T22:52:00.000-07:00

Here are the photos we took haha its stupid i noe

OuR nAmE tAg My NaMe TaG
tHe CuP oF pLaIn WaTeR i DrInK
mI iN tHe UnIfOrM
bElL aNd Mi On ThE wAy To WoRk
IsAbElL iN tHe UnIfOrM

2006-10-20T22:18:00.000-07:00

First day at work....starting fel nervous scare we make mistake...but stay calm as time draw nearer...gt change into the uniform still quite ok...then we sat at the canteen wait for time to pass haha every thing seems weird sat there drink plain water and we took pic haha then going to 6 le we go find lift and went up to 4th floor then we were not sure if we were at the rite place then we went all the way down to B1 again call ben yeo ask where then he came down pick us up haha then we learnt he table setting help out to place the stuff then briefing becos we were new

first time so we follow ppli was send to ben yeo he was suppose to teach mi haha hmm i gt two teacher la haha yong wen help him teach mi as he was busy doing the signing in form haha isabell was not send to ny one dunnoe why then she was ask to serve drinks to ppl standing outside the ballroom as for us we gt all the stuff we need then jus stand there waiting for ppl to come while waiting he went for his dinner and he eat so long left mi sia so i still can manage la haha isabell was so suai she spill drinks two times the second time was the worst haha she nearly cry haha when dinner was abt to stand we were call for pick up so we follow what to do lox...

haha first time haha was fun and tiring then goes the other food then change plate nearly fall the dirty plate on the guest lox lucky i pull back and hold the guest gt scare before tat the guest from tat particular table where gossiping abt mi or isabell ah like we de zhui ta men lox...first time wat do they expect hai yo must ti liang ma...haha but to mi nvm i try my best le serving of rice haiz thought i can de but becos my arm already half died when i stretch my hand out wan to scoup using the method we learn in the training but my hand were like shaking so i ask ben yeo to serve le haiz... gt to improve more can say most of the thing ben yeo doing hha mi and isabell look and learn after all clean up and we went to collect our pay and we went home le...

wat a day lots of experience gain and lots of thing still have to learn hmm comments on the whole day...quite ok...quite smooth jus no strength hand starts to ache after tat hmm after all it was still quite fun i would wan to work more haha but think to isabell ah bad experience haha but its ok la first time ma wat do those ppl expect after all they no blame u and u cant blame the aunty too she stress she has to control the whole thing lox so ti liang ti liang ppl haha now both of us ah hands tired hmm we saw one of our sch de teacher also haha but hopefully she dint notice tat we are from hihs bah haha

2006-10-18T06:20:00.000-07:00

not in a mood tonite...dam angry wif her....some tiomes i realli dun like her i dun need her to guan wo....she is she and i am diferent from her...moodless now...i fight wif her jus now and she lost....and she cough like siao...when she scold mi haha no one ask her scold also huo kai....idun give a DAM who she think she is even if i no work i will also slack at home no study so wat if i work i work to pay my own bills and things i dun need u give mi and u care jus for urself wat so why bother dun need u to care u dun come find trouble i'm happy le thank you get lost man....

2006-10-17T07:04:00.000-07:00

Nothing to say....its jus boring day...moodless whole day kept thinking and thinking non-stop...haiz...the weather's bad must take care must have enough rest and drink more water advice to all haha haiz...moodless shall stop here

2006-10-16T06:47:00.000-07:00

WHO DO U THINK U ARE....u come back once in a while and u are liek dao xiao jie every thing ppl gt to go as u like...some times i realli hate it lox...i wanna share wif u wat i learn and experience and u give mi those comments study so wat if exams are drawing near i dun need u to nag or wat i will study when its time de this show tat u dun noe mi well cos u dun even noe my character and ni gen ben bu liao jie wo...u care onli for urself mostly...ppl treat u gd tats how u all treat mi de...fine i will not share any thing wif u le...hate u

2006-10-16T03:48:00.000-07:00

forgive and forget is difficult but i manage to do it...i have forgiven him and i promise my friend to forget abt it so i have done my job....hmm finally its graduation ceremony sch is finally over the ceremony was fun haha lots of laughter after ceremony when wif zhen bing,li xuan,hwee hong,evina,geraldine, poh ling and derek to ponggol park play haha we had fun too then went home wif hwee hong we chat alot haha...sat was gd why becos my parent went oversea left mi and my bro onli haha lots of freedom....we like having party like tat haha sun went for the training wasnt tat bad but ok la mon which is today felt abit weird haha slp to morning 9+ no sch was gd but boring pack my stuff hmm boring wanted to go get some stuff done but lazy to go out so slack at home...
sometimeifeltneglectedbyubutuarestilltherewhenineededujussometimesfelttatwayidunnoewhymaybecosualwayswork buticantiliangbutdunwannausotiredseeingusotiredtatdaymorningijusfeltsadudidnthaveagdniteslpuweilewoerpianlaobu nogohomeandulooktiredifeltsadbutusayitscomfortablehavingmibyursidewannahuguforever

2006-10-11T06:42:00.000-07:00

hmm i gonna start studying every day haha i will make a effort to study hope i will perserver...today sch was weird why weird...usually morning sure have ppl walking in to sch but today while walking its dam quiet and like holiday going back for remedials lesson like this no one de becos sec 1-3 having marking day but we sec 4/5 lesson so bored...sch is getting bored two more days then i dun need go sch le yeah...no need to wake up so early...haiz...dunnoe how to describe my feelings today brought him go play bball wif my friends and its like having a war like this haiz...do u have to play until so pin ming they are my friends and u dun give mi face u play until so ji qiao for wat...foul then foul lox...let it be la why so de pei che neh...my friends noe u are my bro and they play friendly and u were there so hao lian wif ur skills haiz...i was shock when i see ur skills improve but after tat those few match u play it worrys mi its like i couldnt imagine wat may happen a fight? which will probably wont happen u are lucky lox...if another bunch come rite i sure u kanna beaten up lox... i regretted on calling u...i felt bad watching him playing like this i realli felt bad seeing u like this u dun even care hwo ur sis feel and when i told u play friendly friendly u give mi those reply tats realli makes mi angry and i felt sorry to my friends its like i bring u there to show off how gd u are....haiz some times i realli felt do u ever consider hows my feeling anot...pls la...haiz...i felt so bad and unhappy i sat there watching u and my friends play and when u miss or lose u hit on the bar do u realli have to do tat its jus a game dun have to play until so serious bah and its propertie of another place la...where other play haiz..at tat moment i felt like finding a place and hide myself man...haiz...i dunnoe how to describe my feelings and thoughts when i was sitting there watching haiz...u change my day completely

2006-10-09T07:22:00.000-07:00

Haiz its mon and its sch day...feeling bored and bored...sch is BORING dun feel like going sch go sch do nothing to do...starting to feel i dun wanna study le haiz...but i still have too exams are near i guess i study when its time i think MOTIVATION tats wat i need bah...perhaps hmm today went to habour front wif friends and its has lot of change there lots of fun and its so fun EXPLORING haha shall go again one day haha...gt nag again haiz...why there's lots of WHY in my mind jus no ans given haiz.... life is jus like this..haiz...

lantern festival celebration

2006-10-07T10:52:00.000-07:00

hmm jus came home around an hour ago....cannot believe i sit in this celebration through out the whole nite man....first went to the temple pray...then i went for the celebration near the temple there was lot of ppl...haha 3 person share one ticket haha hmm the ticket gt two drinks, hotdogs, fishball, nuggets, bee hoon,a lantern and of cos the ticket also consis of the lucky draw...hmm no luck didnt win any prize haha most of the prize was tempting lox gt camera, dvd player, electronic dictionary and many more haha cant rem haha...hmm the food is quite ok la but the drinks sux ah...orange juice dun taste like orange next shop around the stalls buy a key chain and two book make all make of metals each one dollar onli the next thing is some thing i couldnt believe the performance by the ppl its oh my god man...the songs are all old songs onli a few i noe and all sung by auntie and uncle...there is one singer which is my father favourite so nice he selling his news album then went to buy and even gt his signature guess my father will be very happy haha one thing i couldnt believe was i sat there listening to the old songs for the whole nite which was utterly boring lox... but no choice i accompany my mother the last singer was even more worst she sung real high pitch man...and there was some female singer who voice was realli de very er xin there goes my sat nite....boring and i sat there listen until i cant tan han i play games haha one thing i like was the lion dance which was dam nice haha

2006-10-06T20:05:00.000-07:00

promise jolene i will upload her ART PIECE haha as u see she has no talent in art haha...not too bad la this piece is done yesterday using my com haha i like the hearts haha jolene can still be improve haha

2006-10-06T19:45:00.000-07:00

hmm once again another week has pass its drawing nearer and nearer...gonna start studying le...hmm four weeks = to one month...hmm this week study and study sian arh lesson is boring but haiz no choice gtg boring...fri didnt go sch tired but went out wif jolene she accompany mi go search and buy some thing for him we walk from chinatown to bugis tiring shopping is so tiring i wonder how those tai tai always go shopping haha i guess must be spa after shopping haha i'm happy that he like the present tat i purposely go search and buy for him...then jolene come my hse...use com then my com gt abit of problem keep on restarting becos of the internet connection...hmm ya yesterday is lantern festival...long time no play candle le haha grown up le seldom play le kind of miss my childhood haha

2006-09-30T07:05:00.000-07:00

hmm another week gone days draw near...gt to start studing le haha it has been 3 weeks le haha dunnoe is a word i like to say sch same boring hmm oh ya thur was isabell and ciyue birthday haha and today is si jin bdae happy bdae to u all...hmm fri gt ptm sian and i knew she tok abt cca ok fine shall not say le not realli tat bad la i jus dun like her to chap on my personal stuff although she mean gd...i jus abit dun like her onli i didnt care...my mother starts to nag at mi le....all becos of her la...nvm 2 more weeks and out of sch yeah 13th oct last day of sch then no need go sch le think go out haha

2006-09-25T05:27:00.000-07:00

boring...life sux...i believe in wat i think and i choose to believe...hmm fri went shopping wif wendy sat went out help my best squad mate then went home abt 6+ nothing to do sian...then jolene 7+ come ym hse use com do project and i miss the show i not stupid too tv series nvm then she went home abt 11+ then i went to slp basically life was jus so boring...sun slack at home then go kovan eat dinner and buy things then go home slack again bored day...today monday school still ok in the morning sum thing hidden in my heart from last nite to morining i worried abt sum thing...lesson as per normal then comes to serious case haha pricipal talk nono shld be scolding session jus becos we didnt do well in our prelims and many ppl couldnt qualific for the pae program for going in to JC...oh pls...who wan go there if i am tat smart i zao jiu study express le.... stupid haiz wat ever i also dun care...ptm and graduation ceremony must come go lox...will they come i i also dun care le...cos i already knew the ans for the ceremony...bored sia...

BaCk To ThE pAsT

2006-09-21T07:12:00.000-07:00

Today...sick no go sch rest and rest hope to be stronger thinking and looking back...the past is jus so beautiful lots of happy and unhappy moments...my life seems to be corrupted...some one ask am i happier in the past or now...my ans is the past... now its seems jus so far away from them...my feeling for this family is love and hatez how ever bad or unfair they treat mi...they are still my family...i will have to endure and walk through life may be is tat every one has grown up lesser time for family...how i wish tat we could be like the malays their family gathering is always so great...unlike us not tat not happy most probably what we ask for is too high bah...but life now is also quite happy life is better...jus always thinking abt money haha financial gt to save haha gd habit life is better as i gt a bunch of very gd class mates and friends like wendy,kel,bell,si jin,yong wen,jing jie,wayne,ben and many more...and also my second family haha ppl from sjab my squadmates,wei qiang,robin,keng ling and all my juniors...life wif them is interesting giving mi a memorable memory of my seconday sch life

2006-09-20T05:54:00.000-07:00

Gonna die le....prelim result is like shit...fail so many nvm...tired every day go sch boring lesson...two more weeks and we do not need to come sch le...but dun go sch also sian...getting sick le...haiz...my math is like shit must pull up my socks le...didnt expect myself to do so badly haix...nvm...life is jus so meanless...ppl ask is singaporean happy...no bah...why becos they need earn money,study and get their targets when they have high hopes the greater the disappointment they have jus like mi hai...so i ask myself am i happy...i will say no... life has been different from the past...but i gonna change to yes having not too high hopes and dun ask too much most probably we will be happier...now i am happy to have wat i have le....not asking much jus let the days pass...say onli ma...guess its difficult but i wanna feel happy in my family its jus not easy...

2006-09-19T04:54:00.000-07:00

haiz...finally i see some pass subject...2 onli hope i pass more...but nvm its prelim onli haiz...ptm...wat a wasting of time...not even i say tat...first time ask my father wat time free go for ptm my father say meet for wat going to graduate le...and he say tell teacher very sian dun wan meet...so i say u go call them tell them lox...its realli indeed a waste of time...third time this year le wor... haiz...happy wif my math result although i fail...didnt reallin put in effort in my math paper 1 and i can still get such grades not very bad jus fail by 7.5 marks onli not bad haha shall wait for futher gd news in hope to pass all haha if not ptm will die le...haiz graduation ceremony...will they go...i dunnoe but hoping they go haiz...shall not tok abt it le...i must study harder for o lvl le...hope to get gd grades but it seems difficult but i will try...haiz...shatec...back up plan haha...but dun noe wanna go in study anot...strict there but its ok...ytd nigel came back sch told us more abt shatec...first thing in my mind was the fees....its dam Expensives lox....15k for a diploma in culinary course lox...but there are other choose hmm dun noe shall think after i get my result bah...shall study hard and score for a higher grade so go poly then no need think of shatec cos the fee is realli expensive cant afford i dun wish my parent go borrow from insurance or bank....

*__HaPpY__???__i__JuS__dUnNoE__*

lonely soul....injured heart

i'm back...

lantern festival celebration

BaCk To ThE pAsT

HaPpY???iJuSdUnNoE